Fatherhood
When you have a kid, you really start to think more about the kind of world you want her to grow up in.
Fatherhood expanded my world and timeline. Most of us aren't good enough to truly care about things that don't impact us to the same extent as the things that would.
But now, I am holding a being whose interests I value more than my own. And their life is still ahead of them - their pathway through it very much still open.
I probably have 40 years left, and I was just going to focus on what would make ME happy for those remaining years. And in those 40 years, I largely know my possible range of circumstances given my known interests, skills, assets, relationships. Of course I could upend my life and totally go in a different direction, but generally only if I wanted to - minus an external shock.
But Summer will need to live in a world 40 years beyond me. And her role in it could be so varied. I think about what Summer will grow up into. Maybe an artist, maybe a banker, maybe someone who is a doctor, or a server at a restaurant.
What kind of a world would I want, that provides her with the best version of life for all of these possibilities? What is the social contract I would want her to be a part of?
Of course I could shield her - she's not truly starting from nothing - she will inherit my network, benefit from my knowledge, and have access to resources that I have obtained. But nevertheless - I don't want a world where she has to depend on me to thrive. That is inherently limiting for her - as my advantages would only exist in the paths I have already tread and paved the road for her to follow.
And so when I think of things this way, when I ask myself: what do I want Summer to be when she grows up, I'm not thinking of a profession (musician) or even a personality trait (kind) or ability (smart).
I just want a world where no matter her profession or her abilities, my little mini me can grow up to be:
- Healthy
- Happy
That is at the end of the day all that matters. All of politics in my opinion should just be about how we can maximize the two above for as many people as possible.
Needless to say this called into question many things about my life and values - like how I spend my time, what my work is, and the kinds of policies I ought to support. Are my actions leading to a world where Summer has the best chance of being Healthy and Happy, no matter what unique individual she turns out to be? Maybe in a small way, but not anywhere near the extent to which I can move this needle. This isn't going to be a question or problem that I'm going to solve in a single blog post, but I think understanding the goal and the problem is a start.